


Eyes like mine

by purplefox



Category: DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Smallville, Superboy (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Clark and Kon don't have a good relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Neither does Lex and Clark, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 16:51:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17026476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplefox/pseuds/purplefox
Summary: The job of a hero is not exactly easy. Not every fight you win and the thing about being on a team is that everyone is affected.





	Eyes like mine

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually happy how this ended up because it was kinda light when I started it then I realized it was going a totally different route than I had planned. I was able to get the ending that I wanted though so I'm glad.
> 
> I don't actually describe what happens to Kon but something bad did go down. So just in case I tagged the violence. Kon is 16, Tim just turned 17 and Jason is 20 going 21. That's why I tagged Underage. Just saying since most my readers know that when I tag these things they have a good reason to stay away.

Kon woke to a headache and a soreness in his lower back. He could hear the soft beep of machines nearby. He could hear a heartbeat and he could feel a soft bed under him. He was not too surprised to open his eyes and see the dimly lit lab around him.

He was not surprised to see the figure in a lab coat not too far away reading the screens. Instead a smile formed on his lips as he mentally evaluated his injuries. “Hi Dad.” He croaked out.

The sound of his voice got Lex to turn around to meet his gaze, eyes the same shade of his warmed to a dark green before Lex abandoned his post and came closer to the bed. Lex’s hand drifted to Kon’s head where he softly stroked his hair. “Welcome back to the land of the living.”

“Not going to scold me?” Kon croaked out as he peered up at his Dad. “That isn’t like you.”

“It isn’t is it.” Lex mused with a soft laugh as he withdrew his hand, both hands went into the pockets of his lab coat. “I’ll leave the scolding and lectures for the person waiting outside for you to wake up.”

“Clark’s here?” Kon almost managed to sit all the way up before his Dad shoved him back to the bed. Before he could protest he slumped bonelessly. He was weaker than he had first calculated.

“He brought you here.” There was a slight reprimand in Lex’s tone. “Did you think he was just going to waltz off?” Kon did not say anything but his face must have shown some of his thoughts because his Dad rolled his eyes. “He hasn’t left since you were brought in, regardless of the kind of idiot that he is. He would never leave you in my hands unsupervised.” Kon gave his Dad a pointed look and his Dad winced. “Kon-El I mean he cares so he wouldn’t abandon you when you need help.”

That earned his Dad an eye roll and Lex twitched at it before he shrugged. Kon shook his head at his Dad’s attempt. “That you’re championing him when you know better than anyone else what Clark is like tells me how bad it must have been.”

That got a reaction from his Dad. His eyes went sharp and the green deepened as Lex looked down at Kon. “I watched on the Justice League screens.” Lex said softly. “I never want to see that again.”

“All of it?” Kon could recall most of it, there were phantom pains and of course he had the memory of the com in his ear. The screams,the shattering glass, the crunch of concrete. His own pained breaths.

“We all saw it.” His Dad said bluntly. “We all never want to see that again and be able to do nothing. I might be lower than a snake’s belly in Clark’s eyes, in all the Kents’ eyes but they know that no matter what it takes that I’ll keep you alive. That I won’t lose my son.”

“Dad.” Kon felt the back of his throat itch.

“Clark is an idiot but he knows the person that can help even better than the league is me. He’s here to watch over you and to see with his own eyes that you will recover.”

“Will?” Kon managed to tease through a sore throat. “You really are the smartest man in the world aren’t you?”

“You doubted it?” His Dad smiled.

As if Kon ever could. “Not once.” He swore as he smiled at his Dad. One part of him was freaking out about his injuries but that part was so small and to the back of his head it was barely noticed. All his attention and thoughts were on the Dad before him and the knowledge that he had lectures waiting for him. Not just from Clark, Kon could recall Tim’s frantic voice in his ear. Cassie and Megan’s screams. The frantic voices on the com. He had plenty of tears and fear ahead of him. That itself was a lot to take in so he could let himself feel the love for his Dad with no worries. He could allow himself a few seconds, a few moments to feel like a normal kid a little over his head being taken care of by his Dad. It was all he had ever wanted to begin with.

Lex’s eyes softened as he watched him. “As much as I want you to stay awake, the real healing begins when you rest.” He said softly.

“Stay until I fall asleep?” Kon begged. “I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to wake up alone.” Unspoken was what he really meant. He did not want Lex to leave. Not now that he was there, the person he really needed. Kon did not want his father to be pushed away by the league, by Clark or Kon’s friends.

After the battle, after the truths that had slammed into him that he would have to face at a later date. He wanted his Dad. He needed someone who not only understood him but someone who would do whatever it took to protect him and shield him. He had seen parts of himself after losing that fight. He was not ready to face it alone and he was not ready to talk to just anyone.

He wanted to reassure some friends but… he needed a moment. More than a few moments to be the Kon-El they knew not the kid he felt.

“Either myself or the Red Robin will be here when you wake.” Lex reassured as he gently stroked his hair. “Or do you want the other Robin?”

“I don’t really talk to the kid.” Kon rolled his eyes before it registered what Lex really meant. “You mean Jason.” And actually Jason was not so bad of an idea. “Why do you always talk about him like that.”

Lex’s hand stilled in his hair before he resumed the gentle strokes. “They are all Robins to me. Young children with a mantle too heavy. Besides, he still is a Robin.”

“You favourite I bet.” Kon smiled, that got a deeper warmth in Lex’s eyes before the man looked away. “Was he asking about me? Red Hood.”

“He’s here.”

“With Red Robin and Batman?”

“No.” His Dad’s eyes went to the door of the lab. “He’s been here just as long as Clark has been. Since the battle ended, he and his entertaining friends.”

“Why the hell…” Kon trailed off before he gave a small yawn. “If he wants to come in let him but only alone. Just him and Red Robin.”

“Noted.” His Dad said softly.

“Not in the mood to put up with Clark’s shit.” Kon said sleepily.

“I’ll pass that along.” His Dad sounded highly amused.

“I was scared.” Kon admitted as sleep tugged at him.

“So was I.” Lex said softly. “I still am.”

X

“Little Robins.” Tim was relieved beyond all measures to see the door open and Lex step outside. He knew it was good news by the way the man walked. The last few hours had been hard on all of them. “The two of you may go in, don’t excite him too much.”

“We’ll try to keep zipped up to the neck yeah?” Jason said as he stepped up to the door. The amused look Lex tossed him Tim caught before the man looked to the figure of Superman waiting not too far away.

“We just want to see him.” Tim said softly. They had seen him during the various operations and vats that Lex had dunked Kon in but the recovery time everyone had been kicked out of the room. The only one qualified enough to work on Kon had been Lex so they had been useless.

“Go ahead little Robins.” Lex was not even looking at them anymore. He was looking at Superman who was watching them, concern on his face.

X

“Kon?” Clark asked as he looked past Lex to the door. “He’s awake?”

“He will feel the strain as he heals but he’s awake.” Lex confirmed. “He doesn’t want to see you right now. I can pass along the message when he is in the mood to do so.” That got him a dark look. “It was worth a try.”

“He’s my son too.” Clark hissed. “And I watched-”

“Yes let us not rehash that shall we?” Lex held up his hand as the image of his son being hurtled through multiple buildings and then being stepped on repeatedly danced behind his eyelids. “Let’s never go there again. Especially after such a stressful surgery.”

“Anything to watch out for? Anything that is going to hamper his care?” Clark frowned. “I was thinking when he was able to move we could take him to the fortress.”

“You managed to fix the lovely human incompatibility problem you’ve been having for all this time?” Lex bit out. “And Kon-El isn’t going anywhere until he is completely healed. If you think my son is going to leave this place where he has excellent care to be shuffled to the backwood of nowhere for half assed care you have another thing coming.” He got close up to Clark’s face his hands buried in the annoying cloak. “Fuck you Clark. He is my son and he doesn’t leave here until he can.”

“Ma and Pa-”

“Can either come here to see him or they can fuck off.” Lex snapped. “I’ve made concessions, I’ve allowed plenty of stupid shit but not for a second will I compromise Kon’s care. I don’t care what they think I’m up to. Either they can come and watch over me in person, not that they would understand a single thing i would be doing. Or they can sit in Kansas and wait like anybody else until Kon-El can walk out of here which he won’t be doing anytime soon after taking so much damages. Hate me all you want, mistrust me all you want but Kon-El means the world to me and he knows that. Diana knows that and Batman knows that. It is you Kal that needs to catch up.” He released Clark’s cape in disgust. “You surprise me the lengths you sink to in order to curse all things Luthor. And you wonder why your son runs from you at every turn.”

X

“Hey you want to sleep?” Jason asked as he tapped Kon on the nose. “We boring you?”

“Na.” Kon shook his head with a smile. “I was eavesdropping.”

“Ahh.” Tim nodded as he played with Kon’s hands from the other side of the bed. “They fighting huh.”

“Lex is going to town on him.” Kon snorted. “I knew it was too good to be true, Clark will never change. I don’t know why he even bothered. He should be going playing hero or something. Somewhere far from me, I’ve already seen his true colours.”

“I won’t pretend to understand.” Tim rubbed his fingers in between his own. “One minute he is doing something decent the next… you are getting caught in the middle of it.”

“If Lex can grow up why can’t he?” Kon muttered. “It doesn’t matter anyway, I’ll be living with Lex full time after this anyway. What is the sense being with Clark if he sticks me on the farm all the time? I’m tired of having the one person who loves me, who cares about me be likened to the end of the world and some sort of devil. I’ve met evil, I’ve seen true evil, true destruction. Beings of manipulation and you know what? My Dad has his bad points but at the end of the day when those things come? He is for us and that is better than most people would ever think.”

“We know that.” Jason pressed him back onto the bed, Kon had not noticed in his irritation that he had sat up. “Trust us, we get that better than most people do.”

“I just love my Dad.” Kon whispered.

“We know.” Tim whispered.

“I was so scared.” He admitted to the ceiling. “I thought I was fucked for good, that I was never going to see you guys again, see my Dad again. You know how happy I was to wake up and know that I was alive and you guys were safe?”

“As glad as we were when you came out of surgery.” Tim’s kiss to his cheek was followed by Jason’s. “We were all scared shitless. Let’s not do this again.”

X

Kon woke up with a gasp and a surge of pain. All he saw around him was dim lights and he would have panicked if it had not been for Lex pulling the sheet further up his chest. “Dad.”

“Rest.” Lex looked tired as he stroked Kon’s hair softly. “You need to rest at least for a little bit more.”

“I can’t.” Kon scanned the room as he noticed Jason and Tim’s absence. His tone lowered as he continued his voice cracking as he spoke. “When I close my eyes I remember. I feel it.”

“I know you do.” The pain in Lex’s voice made Kon’s eyes water. “I’m so sorry I know you’ll remember this especially so fresh but your body needs rest.”

“Sleeping makes me afraid.” He didn’t not want to acknowledge the chill on his body but he had to speak on it. “I keep thinking that all of this is a dream. That I won’t wake back up. I know this is real but when I fall asleep it feels like it all over again and like I’m not going to wake up.”

He hated the way Lex looked at him. He hated the glassy look in his Dad’s eye but he had no one else to talk to. His breath hitched as Lex held his hands in his own. “It’s scary.”

“I know it is. Death, even near death is terrifying.” Lex pulled him into a hug and Kon let himself shake in his father’s embrace. “But I’m here with you.”

Kon shuddered and gripped his father’s shoulders as those words ran through him. “You are.” He whispered as tears ran down his face and soaked Lex’s lab coat. “You really are.”

X

It had been a long day. No, a long few days for Clark but it felt as though it had stretched into years somehow. He had been watching he had been on the scene.

He had come here not to fight but he had been concerned as well. He had felt sick waiting. He had been stuck outside like everyone else not even able to offer anything.

Kon wanted nothing from him and Lex-

Lex was not going to let Clark get closer enough to offer anything at all. That he was alive was a relief. Clark had seen those wounds.

He had seen the way Lex looked at Kon when they first got his body. He had read the emotions on Lex’s face. He had felt as though they were clinging to little hope.

Still Kon had managed to pull through. That was the relief. He was alive but Clark felt- no he knew they had really lost Kon-El. He had lost him even when he was alive right there.

Kon did not want to see him. It was no Lex manipulation. There was no Luthor games here. Kon did not want him around and he did not want Clark’s parents either. He had woken up and just started pushing them all away.

Clark could understand why. He did not like it but he understood. He unfolded his hands as he stood in the hallway outside of Kon’s room and slowly raised them to his face. He was still in uniform. He had not even moved from where he had started to guard. When Lex has moved into this room with Kon he had taken station outside it. Clark slowly sighed into his hands as his heart clenched. He had heard Kon. He had heard him speak to Lex and he had heard him cry.

Kon would hate him even more if he knew. Clark had not meant to hear that he had just wanted to keep an ear on Kon’s vital signs. But now he knew. Now he had heard and he got it. After everything that had happened he understood that he had lost him.

X

Tim had popped back for a shower and change of uniform and a bite to eat. He had not even wanted to do that but Bruce had swept down and escorted him and Jason up and out of Kon’s room.

Kon has been sleeping so it had seemed like it was okay but Tim had felt so guilty and anxious having Kon out of his sight.

Those moments during the fight where Kon had been losing had almost killed him. His gut had twisted with every visual he saw. He had wanted to throw up. He had begged and pleaded. His mind had frozen and his voice had cracked several times.

Hearing Kon confess that he thought that was it was no surprise to him. Tim had sworn the same and he had felt empty inside.

Maybe that was why their normal affection had been so different. They were no strangers to skinship but what had gone down with the awake Kon had been something different and they both knew it. But they were both too shaken up to really talk about it.

It really did not matter as it was right now. Not really. Not at all. They had to get over Kon almost dying first and Tim was not recovering from that one for a long time.

In fact he doubted Jason would either and he was still confused to why Jason had come. He knew Jason and Kon talked. He knew they hung out a bit with missions and overlapping territories but Jason had been almost on the same emotional wavelength of worry that he had been on.

Kon was attractive and a huge flirt. Him getting along with many people was no big surprise but Jason turning up the way he had because Kon had gotten hurt. The way he had spoken to Kon. He had kissed Kon too. A simple affection thing nothing serious but this was Jason.

That kiss on the cheek was a stronger declaration that Tim’s had been. Mostly because he had kissed Kon like that before but it had been in a joking sort of manner.

Tim knew how he felt. He was certain how he felt but Jason-

How was Jason feeling? Did he think the same way that Tim did? Was he thinking the same thoughts Tim had? How was Kon feeling towards him? Towards Jason? What was going to happen when they addressed this?

He pressed his head against the mirror in the bathroom and tried to cool his head. Thinking got him nowhere now. Right now Kon was recovering and he was alive. Thinking about other things was unnecessary. Right now the focus was making sure Kon was okay and that he was going to stay that way.

He could figure out their feelings and plans later on. He raised his head from the mirror only to spot Jason in the reflection silently behind him.

He was too tired to jump he just sighed heavily instead. Jason snorted from behind his helmet before he took it off. “We should get back. This has to be enough for Bruce.”

“Yeah.” They were clean they had changed and ate. They could nap at Kon’s side if anything.

“Sharing isn’t a bad idea.” Jason said it so suddenly that Tim blinked at him in surprise. “Something to think about in the future. Not so much now. Just-“ he winced. “I can see you thinking about it. You and him. Me and him. Sharing is an option. It isn’t like there wasn’t a-“

“Yeah” Tim cut him off before he could finish that thought. Even though he was already thinking it in his head. Like there wasn’t almost a me and you

Not something he really thought about. Not something he really studied but it was a fact all the same. It had almost happened. If the best happened and they ended up sharing Kon-

Well Jason was right even though Tim had just cut him off. They had almost happened and it was not as if Tim would mind something happening between them again  just right now for him and he was guessing for Jason too. Kon was the focus.

X

“So what does this mean?” Kon asked softly when his father finished giving him the run down of his injuries and his healing. “How okay am I? Is anything beyond repair?” It hurt his throat to ask but he had to. “Am I going back on the field right away?”

“The league put you back in rotation before my okay and I’ll burn it to the ground and have their real identities parading through the newspapers and the streets.” Lex spat as his hands shook around his electronic pad. “You are not to do any fighting for at least a month. I don’t care if Superman is down and Doomsday is at the door. You’re down.”

“Make sure they know that yeah?” Kon sighed as he stare at the ceiling. “Sometimes it feels like I’m just here as a tag in for Clark.”

“You’re not the only one that strongly suspects the same.” Lex growled. “They should know better. They should all know better but they let the Titans run about in such a manner and then go flailing when things go wrong. Of course they will.” Lex snapped. “If you’re going to parade people’s children before disaster it is only a matter of time before they get drastically hurt.”

“Thanks.” Kon smiled. “It’s nice to see someone else saying what I’ve been thinking. No matter how many times we go through this. No matter how many times we face this kind of thing I keep wondering what the hell us Titans really are. Back up league members? Doing our own thing? Kids playing at heroes?” He cleared his throat before he continued. “What the hell are we.”

“Superheroes in training according to the Bat.” Lex snorted. “If you ask me you are supposed to be the future. A better way of shaping the future and reality once you don’t get killed or too jaded.”

“Am I jaded Dad?” Kon smiled. “Do you think I’m jaded? It feels so sometimes. I don’t know if it’s the fight. It might be the fight.” Kon said softly. “But I never felt so badly like I’ll explode before. I nearly died. It’s reached that point.” He shook his head and laughed. “I no longer care what the league wants or what Clark wants. It’s not important. I don’t care.” He laughed. “All this time and I wanted to care a little less and nearly dying does it.” He felt warm tears flow down his cheeks. “I just wanna go home Dad.”

“The moment you are well enough to go home.” Lex promised as he took a seat by Kon’s side. “Mercy and I will bring you home. Not even the league will force you out until you are ready. Not even your little Robins will be able to sneak in if you don’t want it.”

“Thank you.” Kon felt his breath hitch. “Thanks Dad.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Lex’s hand smoothed over his hair and the comfort made Kon sleepy. “That’s what I’ll always do. I will always have your back. I’ll always protect you.”

X

“Hello little Robins.” Jason had not even sensed the man before he moved. He had almost seemed glued to the machines. He honestly had erased his presence. He knew Tim was as unnerved as he was by Luthor just appearing in their sights.

Well he knew that he was but he knew that Tim was thinking over about a hundred and twenty unnecessary things at the moment too. Two of those things would be what they were all going to do when Kon got out of there and they could address the elephants in the room.

He had felt sick to his stomach when he had watched Kon get put down like that. If Roy had not been on the ground with him and in his ear Jason knew he just might had done something stupid. He had almost done something stupid.

He had never felt so sick watching a fight before. Except that had not been a fight. Kon had been slated to lose from the first match up. That he had almost no help and no support until the very end. He had gotten dragged on that battlefield and Jason could still see it when he closed his eyes.

Buy them time? They were lucky that Kon had ended up being a playtoy instead of an opponent. If they had taken Kon seriously he would have been dead from the first blow. It had been disgusting and terrifying.

Sure they were close but Jason had not known how much he really gave a fuck until he had thought Kon was dead on the ground. The moment he could he had been off to make sure he was okay. He had been waiting outside like everyone else as Luthor did his magic and even with Luthor giving the okay he was not that okay.

“He okay?” Jason asked softly as he watched the way Kon slept on the healing bed. He had an idea of how it worked but what concerned him was what it did for Kon.

“No.” Luthor said honestly as he nudged them aside to stand next to his son’s bedside. “He took heavy damage that his human altered DNA is trying to fix. He took a lot of heavy damage. He needs time to heal physically and that fight will leave mental wounds.”

“Mental wounds.” Tim swallowed as he faced Luthor. “Because he lost.”

“Kon has lost before, Kon has been beaten before.” Luthor stated that simple fact as he touched his son’s hair gently. “This time was different. Lots of things were at stake and not only did he just lose he failed. He caused damage and he looked death in the face. This was different. He has to face the fact that he almost died for real and to him he managed to achieve nothing.”

“That isn’t true though.” Jason stepped forward to be shoulder to shoulder with Tim. “That’s bullshit he did manage to do something. It wasn’t a good match up but if it had not been him things could have been worse.”

“It would have been worse if it had ended up being any of you children.” Luthor seemed to agree before he turned a furious gaze on them. “That does not change the fact that it should have been an adult to access the damage and an adult to face this. Powers or not. Metahuman or not there are somethings you should wait before you handle. As titans you are supposed to do what you can do and learn from the adults and their mistakes. Not follow the adults down the same self destructive path.”

“We miscalculated for certain.” Tim sounded sick. “But the League isn’t at fault for this.”

“They consider Kon a default Superman and take that into account when giving you information and asking for help.” Lex growled. “They see the protegees as simple knockoffs and behave accordingly. From Kon to the girl to even you Robin. Even if they don’t know they are doing it does not change the fact that they are doing it.”

“You know they are Tim.” Jason turned to Tim and shook his head. “You said the same thing about Bats and you. Is it a surprise that they see Kon as a convenient Superman? One the League members can control for when Superman is doing his own thing and not jumping on their sides.”

“I don’t want that.” Tim shook his head. “How can we even begin to prevent that?”

“Make Kon leave the League.” Luthor answered quickly before he laughed. He slowly cupped Kon’s face before he sighed. “Not that he would at this time. It’s a pipe dream. For now at least I can hide him with men until he is ready. It’s all I can do.”

“I don’t want to say that it's up to Kon and how he will choose to be used but.” Jason shook his head. “At this point it is up to Kon. I know I can't take on the league and win. Luthor you might be willing but Kon would never let you.”

“He wouldn’t.” Luthor acknowledged. “But I would if he would ever want it. For now I’ll support him in everything he does and I’ll protect him the best way I can. It’s the only thing I can do.”

“I’m tired of hearing that and I’m tired of saying that.” Tim reached for Kon’s hand and wrapped it in his own. “It shouldn’t be the best we can do. It can’t be.”

X

“Hello Bruce.” Lex said softly. He had not looked up from his cup but he knew the man was there. He had moved to the large kitchen area to give the little Robins time alone with Kon. He would have stayed and ignored the conversation but his son had been sending clear signals that he wanted Lex to leave the room.

Now that made him curious and he would watch the footage to make certain Kon was not asking his little birds for anything risky.

Right now nerves were frayed and everyone was on edge. People were willing to take risks they had never taken before. People were willing to make alliances they had never dreamed of before. All because of simple fear. Disgusting.

“Kon-El seems to be faring well.” Bruce moved into the room before he took off the cowl. Lex watched him but he felt so disinterested in the process. His mind was of course calculating and recording but his interest was at a low. He really did not care about Bruce or the Batman right now.

They were not necessary, they were not important and they could not help him make Kon heal any faster. So it was just irrelevant.

“Physically you have my DNA for that.” Lex muttered. “But when he closes his eyes. That is another story.”

“We all have our demons.” Bruce said softly as he poured himself tea. Lex eyed him and how ridiculously horrible he was at it. It would suit but it would not be the best. “We all have our ways of dealing with our fears and what we fear in the dark. But I find sometimes talking helps.”

“Talking.” Lex had to laugh at that. “Just who do you think you are talking to Bruce?” He had to set his cup aside as he laughed. “Talking. You? Bruce Wayne? Batman? About your demons and fears? Bruce to learn about you. You have to go through minefields and search better than any intelligence agency and when you finally have a clue or a trail to your demons. You know what happens?” He shook his head. “You shut us down and out. So who is it that you talk to? Because I know you don’t even speak to professionals.”

“You’re right.” Bruce took him aback with that. Lex stopped his laughing and watched the way the man began to drink his tea. “I always pushed people away. I never spoke about the things that bothered me. Even to the people that I deeply cared for that knew me better than anyone. But Dick lets me talk. He understands and he lets me speak. Alfred helps me speak.”

“I’d like to show some surprise. Maybe some anger or irritation but.” Lex rolled his eyes before he sighed at the ceiling. “That does make sense. I guess the kid got through to you in the end. Persistent.” He murmured. “I’m glad for you Bruce.”

“It was not easy.” Bruce admitted. “It still it not but that list of people is growing.”

“Must be nice.” Lex said softly. “But you know my son, Kon can tell me anything. He knows this. We know anything he tells me i won’t judge him. He knows that when it comes to him he can trust me. But that does not mean Kon will want to speak on this anymore than he has.”

“That does not mean shutting everything away and running is the right answer.” Bruce’s voice had a slight bit of urgency in it.

“He’s a kid.” Lex said softly. “He’s my son but he’s a kid. They are all kids. Kids that can’t be normal kids but they should be allowed to have kid reactions when disastrous things happen.” He met Bruce’s eyes and shook his head. “If he wants to leave the League then so be it. Unlike your brats he never really had a choice.”

“Lex.” Bruce’s tone was reproachful but Lex shook his head.

“When they let him go from the labs in the beginning.” He said softly. “Then the media caught sight of him. Then the league caught him. Then everyone knew what he was. Before he got the chance to ask himself who and what he was everyone decided that for him and told him what he should be doing.” His fingers were tight on his cup. “He never really had the choice and he never had options before.”

“Yes.” Bruce said softly. “For Kon-El from the beginning there was only one choice.”

“He isn’t a war hammer.” Lex said softly. “He’s not Clark’s bloody replacement. He’s not a tool or a weapon to be used. He’s a kid. A kid with powers and a big heart. A kid that wants to learn but a kid at the end of the day. He’s not superficial and he is not a waste of time. He’s not a disease because he had Luthor blood. He’s a kid and kids get scared. Kids run away and kids cry. It’s natural and since he doesn't get to be a normal kid he should be allowed this. Since there was no real choice in the beginning he is owed this. If he wants to run, if he wants to leave he should be allowed. If only because you know you can’t take responsibility to what he would become if he was force to stay.”

Bruce did not say anything for a long while. He finished his tea while Lex watched him. He drank it and washed the cup before he reached for the cowl he had placed on the counter. Lex watched him slip it back on and go through refastening it.

“Understood.” Batman said before he left the room.

“Damn right you do.” Lex murmured when the door closed. “You can’t afford a fight with me Bruce.”

X

“Hey guys.” Kon had forced himself to a sitting position and he was already regretting doing something so reckless. “Listen to me a bit?” He would already have his Dad suspicious. Sending Lex out of the room like that.

It was not suspicious when it came down to it but his Dad was frighteningly sensitive to his mood and the directions of his thoughts. He wanted some alone time with Jason and Tim but his Dad had a reason to be suspicious.

“Of course, that’s not problem.” Jason stopped fiddling around with the equipment at the end of the room to take a seat next to him. “It’s why we are here you know. Well that and-”

“You scared us.” Tim was blunt with it as he kicked up his feet to the desk by the end of Kon’s bed. “It’s hard to leave you alone right now.”

“I was scared too.” Kon could not even look at them he had to look up at the ceiling instead. “I was so scared. I think that this is going to stay with me for a long time.”

“Yeah.” Jason said softly. “It will. It won’t go away.”

“I thought so.” Kon half laughed.

“But that’s no reason to give up or let it overpower you.” Jason’s hand covered his and Kon felt himself blinking away hot tears. “It’s not going to go away but you will find ways to dull it. Sometimes it will be fresh and other days it will be like if it happened to someone else.”

If anyone but Jason had told him that Kon would have pushed them away. If anyone but Jason had spoken to him like that he would have demanded they leave. Scoffed at them and blew up at them.

“I’m scared to sleep. Scared to dream.” He admitted. “This doesn’t feel real. Dad has me so medicated I only feel pain when I fuck up. Right now my ribs hurt.” He sighed. “Right now there is a twinge in my lower back and because I moved my ankles hurt. When I wake up though.” He met Jason’s gaze and shook his head. “Whenever I wake up I feel nothing and that scares me.”

“You think your mind is playing tricks on you?” Jason questioned as his hand tightened. “That this is all a dream and you’re dead?”

“That this is all a hallucination and the feelings of pain I feel from time to time is that I’m dying and not dead.” Kon admitted. “I feel it every time. “I feel myself thrown and smashed. I hear the sound of my blood dripping onto concrete. It’s so loud.” He whispered. “I hear glass shattering. I feel myself smashing through buildings.” He laughed. “The panic is there and it feels so real. I taste the pain and the blood. I hear everything. I smell everything. I feel it all over again.” He clenched his free hand as his heartbeat sped up. It was reflected on the machines but he could not fight it.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that.” Tim said softly. “I don’t know if we can do anything about that Kon.” That was Tim with the honesty for you. Kon had to laugh because Tim was Tim as always. “But all we can do is be with you through every step. Stay by your side and listen to you. This won’t go away because we want it to but we can be with you until you manage it.”

That was so Tim.

“You know.” He laughed as he held his free hand over his face. “I really really love you. Both of you.” His throat clenched tight. “Everything has just been so shitty lately. I hated so much. I was tired of being jerked around.” Of being broken up with over things he could not control. “I was tired of Clark and the League.” He admitted. “But I’m so glad I always had you two. Even though you would pop up at the most random of times.” Kon laughed. “I’m so glad I have you two and Impulse.” He finished.

“You know.” Tim said softly. “He’s been crying back at the tower since this happened. You need to let him come see you.”

Kon let his hand drop and he carefully met Tim’s eyes. “I know. I wasn’t thinking clearly and stuff but I need to let him come.” Because he was someone else who knew Kon and accepted him. He was also someone who knew his secrets.

“So what are you going to do?” Jason probed him softly. “So far your healing looks good. You really going to go with Lex right?”

“That’s not the only thing.” Kon closed his eyes and blinked back the tears that had come up on thinking about his decision. “I’m going to be named as Lex’s heir. I want to go to school. I don’t want to waste what little years as a kid I have left.”

“This sounds like-” Tim cut himself off. “Are you quitting the Titans?”

“It’s going to take awhile for me to recover.” Kon said softly. “So while I heal I’ll take the time I need to figure out the answer to the question.”

“So far it doesn’t sound like a no.” Jason said softly. “But that’s fine. You do know that right? And Luthor would never force you to quit the league.”

“But he wants me to.” Kon admitted softly. “And right now I don’t want to force myself to do anything painful or uncertain. For a while now i’ve been wondering who I am to everyone and I think they see me as Clark 2.0”

“Kon.” Jason whispered as he leaned over him. Kon smiled at the concerned blue eyes that watched over him. “You’re not.”

“I know that.” Kon admitted. “Least for now but they don’t and I need to make sure that I don’t begin to see myself as that. I need to take a step back and think this all over.” He laughed. “I want to know if I can ever be Superboy again. I need to know if I’m ready to step beyond that or if I want to continue being the Superboy that everyone sees.”

“Then I’ll be right here.” Tim had stood up and now he stood shoulder to shoulder to with Jason. “Jason too. When you figure this out we'll be right next to you. We’ll sneak into the penthouse and stay with you. I’ll invite myself to all of Luthor’s big events if I have to. You’re not going through this alone.”

“Thank you.” Kon whispered. “Is it okay if I ask for you, both of you to hold me? I don’t know why.” He admitted as his voice choked up. “But I’m going to cry.”

“That’s perfectly fine with me.” Tim walked around the bed to his free side and exchanged a look over Kon’s head with Jason. “So cry all you need to. We’re fine with it.” When Jason and Tim embraced him gently the tears were set free. Jason and Tim’s comforting warmth and arms went a long way to soothing him.

X

“He’s not ready for a romance.” Tim admitted as he began to pack away Kon’s things. He glanced to where Jason was folding Kon’s clothes. “But he isn’t exactly rejecting the idea either.”

“I could have told you that.” Jason snorted before Impulse laughed from where he had been pulling down Kon’s posters. “What’s your issue?”

“I could have told you that.” Impulse was quick to laugh. “He’s been geeking after Tim for years now and he’s been checking you out for ages too.”

News to Tim. “Then why didn’t he say anything?”

“You guys are friends.” Impulse ticked off his fingers. “Going for Red Hood seemed rude and the guy was just friendly not going after him. Kon’s never gone after a guy before.” He continued. “Drama with Superman, drama with Cassie. Drama with she who shall not be named.” His eyes went dark before he took a long breath. “Yeah he had a lot on his plate.”

“Why did they break up again?” Jason squinted at Tim. “Wondergirl?”

“Um.” Tim had many ideas but considering how the two were friends now. Sort of, he was not too sure but he knew Cassie had called it off. “Difference in opinion?” He guessed. “She did dump him.”

“I already know that those two.” Impulse twitched at Jason’s words before he resumed pulling off posters. “Had that nasty spat and then it got blown up. I think it was something about acceptance? I walked in on a few of their-”

“Good riddance to that.” Impulse muttered. “Most of that had to do with Luthor and her powers. Then it became a trust issue before they finally broke up.” He huffed. “Good riddance.”

“Now it's me. Well us.” Tim smiled. “Let’s hope we don’t fuck it up when it’s time.”

“I think this won’t be bad at all.” Impulse grinned as he yanked off the last poster. “It’s Kon after all and he adores you guys. Just don’t kill him with the sexy okay? He’s a real puppy when you push him.”

“Okay now stop joking around.” Jason snorted. “This is turning to a conversation way beyond your years.”

X

“You don’t look like death anymore.” Impulse smiled. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I’m glad to see you too.” Kon grinned. “And while I’m enjoying the hand holding aren’t you going to hug me?”

“I don’t want to upset anyone.” Impulse grinned. “Anyway so you can begin to walk around now right?”

“Yeah they took me off of everything important. I’ll be going home with Lex.” Kon laughed.

“Not to upset you or anything but.” Impulse winced before he looked at the door. “He’s still out there.”

“I know.” Kon sighed. “I’ll have to see him eventually. I’ll be leaving here soon and I know he won’t be going away. I don’t want to see him for the first time with Lex there. He fucks up and Lex will kill him for real.”

X

“Come in Clark.” Kon sighed. It was time to get this over with. There was a moment of silence before Clark knocked and came in. “You could have just come right in. I invited you.”

“Some things you can’t shake.” Clark looked around the room before he swept back his cape and took a seat. “You look a lot better.”

“Thanks.” Kon had to fight to not look at the ceiling. “Is this enough for you? Can you just look over me and leave?”

“Kon.” Clark’s sad tone made him roll his eyes. “I do care about you. I was worried about you. Coming here and looking after you is not some league duty. I do care.”

“Sure you do.” Kon smiled. “But you know, my Dad cares about me. He loves me.”

“I know Lex cares about you.” Clark said softly. “Anything else has my suspicion but I don’t doubt how much he loves you. He hasn’t left this place once. Hope and Charity is looking after Lexcorp. Mercy comes and goes but Lex stays. In the heart of what is enemy territory for him. I know he loves you.”

“You’re taking this very well.” Kon swallowed. “That’s good. It sucks it takes me to be on a medical bed to get some common sense out of you.”

“You would be surprised what fear can do.” Kon watched the way Clark dipped his head as he clenched his hands into fists. “I thought we were too late.”

“I thought I was dead.” Kon stared at the ceiling as he spoke. “I had all this fear and all these regrets. I’m tired Clark. I’m a kid and I’m tired.”

“I’m so sorry.” Kon turned his head to watch the way Clark was looking at him. Sad face and sorrowful blue eyes. Kon was too tired to have them affect him. “You’re so strong.” Clark said softly. “And everyone says how much you’re like me but like this and even in that you’re so much like Lex. You’re strong and focuses. Just like Lex. I won’t say I wasn’t worried. I was and I am worried but you’ll get through this Kon-El. Because you’re like me and you’re like Lex.”

Maybe a few months ago his heart would have jumped at hearing such a thing from Clark. His heart would have flipped to hear such things coming from Clark’s mouth. But right now Kon was too tired.

“Yeah.” He said softly because he knew what Clark wanted to hear. He always knew what Clark wanted to hear. “That’s why I’m Superboy.

X

He was so glad that they had taken that thing off his dick. He never thought he would be looking forward to taking a piss. Still he was glad that now he was bloody able to walk and take a proper piss when he needed to.

Lex had rolled his eyes at him but Kon was convinced some thing he was not needed to be conscious for no matter how clinical it was. Having an android do it instead was still awkward.

He sighed as he washed his hands. Lex would be pissed but he had gone for a shower too. A hot one.

He had felt ridiculously filthy. Wiping down or not he had felt nasty and all of that needed to be showered away. So he had gone for a hot shower. Lex could be pissed and sulk as much as he wanted later on.

Kon sighed heavily as he he finished washing his hands. He was tired but it was not that. He had been thinking and thinking since he had woken up. About the things that were important and how he was going to handle himself.

He had been thinking about Clark. He had been thinking about Jason. He had been thinking about Tim. Things were going to change, they were changing now but when he left this room things were going to change big time.

He raised his wet left hand and swiped it across the mirror wiping away the cloudiness so he could look at his reflection. It was not as if he did not understand why others looked at him and thought about Clark.

He had been modified to look like Clark so obviously he would. He had Clark’s hair and his build. He had his skin tone and the shape of his face was Clark’s. Or to be more accurate it was Superman’s. He could easily be Superman just by looking imposing. It was just that Kon no longer had an interest in trying to be Superman.

He was more interested in his own eyes and how they looked to others.

Since meeting Lex he had been fascinated, he still was. Eyes the same shape and colour as his. Eyes that did what his did. Lex hid and showed so much with his eyes alone. Kon’s eyes were supposed be some show of imperfection. He had never known how much he had taken that to heart until he met Lex.

He had never known how important it was to have his eyes loved and praised until Lex. Lex who would buy him clothes and tell him softly that they made his eyes look gentle. Lex who would-

Lex who cared, his Dad who put himself through all sorts of painful or humiliating situations in order for Kon to benefit.

Kon loved his green eyes. He could look in the mirror anytime and remember that he was a child that was loved. That his Dad loved him and his eyes.

Not just his eyes, Jason had liked them too. Tim had always loved them. He had liked Kon’s eyes from the start. Impulse had been the first to talk about how his eye colour shifted and changed.

The entire event, it was going to take him a while to get properly onto his feet. Physically and mentally but Kon knew he was going to be fine. Lex, his father was going to be with him every step of the way. Lex, Hope, Mercy and Charity. Tim and Jason were not going to let him slip away.

Kon was really going to have to address this thing that was happening between all of them. Fantasies aside he had never thought he could have them both. Until recently he had never even kissed another guy.

But he had. Now he had been kissed by guys three times. What a wow situation. Jason and Tim seemed to be really serious about him too.

His Dad was going to tease the hell out of him about his Robins. Or maybe he would not. Who knew what was going to happen after Kon started to heal.

What he did know was that he was not going to be alone, he had people by his side. He would make it through this. Who he would be after he made it through he had no idea. What he did know was that he was going to make it through because of the look in his own eyes. Green, determined just like his Dad’s.

He was not out yet. He was strong and he would stand up again and again. He was Kon-El Luthor son of Lex Luthor. He was strong and he knew that while this was going to change it that he would make it. He would be loved all the same. He had the eyes of a Luthor didn’t he?

 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, this fic can answer some questions you may have to another thing I've posted concerning Kon. Read and count carefully. That's all I'm going to say on this matter ^^ good luck if you put it together. Idk if its easy or not.
> 
> Yeah there is a lotta things you gotta read and read over to catch. All the relationships implied and hidden etc etc. Still I think this is a good injuries recovery fic


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